Huh Wot?

I tried to resist, but the city just keeps giving.  There will be a lot of Chinglish in this section of the site, but I will also try to find some examples of good grammar and lovely graphics.  Read, be confounded, enjoy.

#63

I’ve seen other versions of this urinal sign, like “One small step for a man, one giant leap for civilisation” and “Step closer, you’re not that big”. But the idea of “getting closer” in a public toilet is just a bit creepy.

#62

Not totally wrong. Just awkward.

#61

In fountains, not drugs.

#60

Given the dodgy hygiene of some restaurants, this is truth in advertising perhaps. Still looking out for “Vegetarian Noodles, including meat you didn’t want” and “We’re Not Sure What It Is (please don’t ask)”.

#59

For the want of an additional S! Although the location pretty much suggests it anyway…

#58

Airlines named Lucky or OK are not seeking a great degree of confidence from travellers.

#57

I just can’t understand.

#56

Bitterly disappointed that this wasn’t available in adult sizes. Pocky is my favourite snack!

#55

Where you might find The Secret and Anthony Robbins audio-books.

#54

Here is a scale model of a shopping centre that is currently under construction.  Not only will it have a heli-pad on the roof (for evacuations during a zombie attack, no doubt), it also has a branch of that famous fast-food franchise, McLenin’s.  I think that someone accidentally copied the logo from a 1990s protest t-shirt.

    

#53

It may be an exceedingly charming place, but it has some exceedingly poor translations.  I assume it is meant to be “food street”, but I like the sound of a “tude street” also.

#52

An (accidental, most likely) example of proper grammar.  Although “babies grow up – luckily” would also be correct, and more funny.  Please note the other tagline for the store – “for future elites”.  That’s great.

#51

There are a few bars on the street near our apartment, and one cannot walking down the street without being harassed by a bunch of young local guys trying to sell “marry-wanna” or “hash-hish”.  Looks like one of them has got himself a business card.  I think that Amat Matmat may be asking for legal trouble.

#50

And would you like some Sticky Date Blanchett with that, sir?

#49

Some more weird biscuit packets.

I’m sure these are Australian imports, but they are still odd.  You can’t tell me that nothing is going on between that Tiny Teddy and the clearly-satisfied and very buxom bumblebee.  And what is going on with that Bear in the grass?  Gross.

And these, also weird.  Worst. Graphics. Ever.

    

#48

The character at the left is ‘hu’ which is the nickname for Shanghai.  But it looks like a P, and when placed beside ENI5, that kinda looks like ….

#47

No bikes.  No bikes with racks attached.  No sprinkling.  No kites.  No fire crackers.  No touching of flowers.  No ice skating.  No horns.  No standing on balls.  No. No. No. No.

#46

Maybe tell that to the guy who wrote the sign above.

#45

While getting a very fast rickshaw ride around Rui’an, I noticed lots of funny shop names.  Unfortunately, the speed of our transport made photography hard.  I missed clear shots of “A Brand” and “Chafing Dish”.

   

But, then I got this one.  In Chinese, “ou” is pronounced like “oh”.  Money shot!

#44

Just a tip: the promise of smiles is not likely to turn around public opinion of traffic police.

#43

As you should.

#42

As you should not.

#41

Honey, it appears that someone has stolen our child.  Here are his shoes.  Perhaps he was stolen to be melted down and sold on the grey market.  Honey?  Are you listening?  Can you please put down your mobile and help find our child!

    

#40

I think they were hoping for public art, not privates art.

#39

“Danger stairs” sound kind of exciting, hey what?

#38

I was told that this is called a ‘tummy warmer’.  I wondered who, apart from spiritual beings, would wear such a thing.  And then, not one week later, I saw a baby, on the street, wearing a red tummy warmer.  And nothing else.  And eating a Paddle Pop.

#43

As I’m quite partial to whipping up a blaze of irony, I will now be aware that there a weapon against that kind of thing.

#42

Or, if you prefer, don’t.  Whatever…

#41

Not so much Chinglish but an unintended yet sophisticated portmanteau.  I can totally relate, as I often get that coffeeling.

#40

By virtue of comparison, that Hall is sounding really great.

#39

An unambiguous message.

#38

I fed the Chinese characters into my phone translator and it says “Real Estate Traders”.  Which makes the Engrish entirely appropriate.

#44

I was just wondering where I’d find myself a Spicy Grandma.

#43

It’s one of those silly machines from Lawnmower Man.  I guess that when the novelty wore off, they all got shipped to China.  It seems that the novelty has worn off a second time.  It’s the only thing in the whole country that doesn’t have a queue leading to it.

#42

This is a special kids section of a shopping centre.  I love the names.  Scat?  Paw and Paw?  My favourite is Teenie Weenie, a “fashion” store that targets young women who like teddy bears and Burberry.

    

#41

Oh, thanks for clarifying.

#40

A lesson in wishful thinking.  What to call an incredibly dull tower block plonked into the middle of a historic part of Shanghai…?

    

#39

WARNING: SERIOUS LANGUAGE AHEAD!

Hotels often sell ‘personal products’ like underpants and compressed towels.  I was taken aback by the expert translation of the product second from the bottom (pun totally intended…)

Hey, you were warned about the language OK!

#38

The covers of fake DVDs always yield some humorous moments, usually the result of sloppy copy-and-paste and/or bad translation.  But this one (on, I admit, a copy of Meet the Parents 3 – do not watch: totally rubbish) left me more amused than usual.  It handles sand and snow!

#37

A man holding his wife’s handbag is not so weird in Shanghai (Shanghai ladies wear the pants generally).  And tattoos, while rare, are not totally unseen.  But, sock stockings (stockettes? sockings?) are quite a sight on a gentleman.  And all three in combination … woah.

#36

Great shop names.  The last one is the Chinese equivalent of Blah Blah.

#35

We must fight the evils of doodling!

#34

Um …

#33

A nail salon with an awkward name.

#32

Encouraging good or bad behaviour?

#31

Two of these kids are not like the others …

#30

Blow or spit?  And why not just press a button?  Remember bird flu?

#29

Well, that is a relief.

#28

Obviously, a roolly classy establishment.

#27

If you don’t know what “bobo” means, click here.  And then, wonder what on earth this means…

#26

From the file titled: Although I understand that these are serious medical issues and that it is good that they are being dealt with in an honest manner, I’m just not used to seeing such honesty…”

#25

No big cars allowed and no little cars either…

#24

I can picture the ad execs in the first brainstorming session, asking themselves “How can we make blood donation cool …?”

#23

I could explain but it’s better left alone.

#22

Chinglish for “Do the Right Thing”…?

#21

I think they are trying to be absurdist (the dada reference gives it away…) but perhaps a little too absurd?

#20

“Particularly careless builders above”

In fact, a very effective graphic.

#19

Finally, truth in advertising.  Am keeping an eye out for cafes named “Burnt Coffee”, “Terrible Service” and “Sneaky Pieces of Meat Put Into Vegetarian Dishes”.

#18

So sexy, they named it twice….

#17

From my “you can’t do that here!” collection…

This blatant name discrimination just has to stop!  Some of my best friends are Petes.

Would work so much better with “girlfriend!” attached to the end.

Is that Goofy?  Well, at the very least, it’s goofy.  Hold on, the dog is in front of the red line!  Is it banned or not?  Or just making a mockery of the whole situation?

#16

Good general advice…

#15

Not a particularly reassuring name for a credit card company.

#14

Oh yes, that well known clothing brand, named after that crayzy animal, the clio coddle.

#13

I was wondering why I had some amazing dreams that night!

#12

You are just going to have to embrace the feeling …

#11

A lot of things have funny names here, especially biscuits.  This one sounds a little plain … not to mention a bit mushy.

Well, I do prefer my biscuits without knobs.

“Hmmmm … has that nice sinky flavour …”

“Hmmm … has that nice … oh, nevermind …”

#10

Here is a great example of the correct (although (somewhat) unnecessary) usage of parentheses.  Covers all possibilities…

#9

One day, I will receive a punch in the nose for taking a photo like this.  But, I guess man like me just wanna’ have fun.

#8

Based on this fancy light switch, the ‘cocker’ light was located outside the bathroom door of my hotel room.  I’m confused. Any thoughts on what this could be trying to say?

#7

I suppose drug users deserve their own place to shop … but, confusingly, not one shiny tracksuit or pair of stretch stonewash jeans in sight.

#6

When in a hotel, I always take the opportunity to study the guest directory.  The Harbour Oriental Hotel in Beilun has a very comprehensive but incomprehensible volume.

To quote a few choice sections:

Elevator Emergency

1. If the elevator does not operate at the original contract speed, for possible attacks, the passenger shall bend legs slightly and lean the upper part of body ahead.

3. If water flooding in, passengers shall operate elevator to the top and inform the maintenance.

Street Robber

1. When being robbed in a place full of persons, the victim shall ask for help loudly, to frustrate the criminal.

4. When deposit or draw large quantity of money in bank, you had better have a company, or pay attention to the suspicious person who is tailing you.

#5

I’m sure the English is correct.  It’s the concept that I can’t grasp.

#4

I kinda get what Haibao (the Expo mascot that cannot be avoided) is trying to say here, but “Let Uplifted Public Ethics Guide a Splendid World Expo” could not be described as a catchy slogan.

#3

Important tip: always check with an English speaker if the name of your clothing store has any unpleasant connotations … especially if it is a popular chain.

#2

Yuk + yuk. Nothing in this dish sounds nice.

#1

Well worth repeating … to quote “No admittance to anyone who is drunk, insane and not properly dressed” (Oriental Pearl Tower)

31 Responses to Huh Wot?

  1. jofalvey says:

    I am loving your update Mr. Tickle keep up with your PHD in Chinglish. It’s alot more interested than other langauges!

  2. Pingback: InvestingInspiration » Need a laugh!

  3. gizzard says:

    Taking photos of crayzy signs in Malaysia I’ve been thinking I should have a “funny signs” section on my site and then thinking “The Goode Dr B. would probably have enough photo opportunities for that too – maybe we should collaborate”. When I get the chance I’ll post my funny signs photos and we can compare chickens. Is saliva chicken anything like chickin lickin’?

  4. vurtbike says:

    arrows. do they also have clazy arrows?

    • Good question Vurtbike. I will keep at least one eye out for crayzy arrows. In fact, I take this as a challenge. I will find you the most crayzy arrow ever.

  5. wolf-mozart says:

    Was there a cabinet outside the toilet? Cocker (Locker)

  6. wolf-mozart says:

    Any other questions just let me know(ps just moved into our new extension((2 days AFTER Barry arrived))

  7. Pingback: Update / Huh Wot? 09 November | That Look Crayzy!

  8. natalie says:

    These are brilliant! Love em. I can see a book in here somewhere. Sinky chocolate please 😉 ah ha ha.

  9. Angela says:

    Love it.

  10. Pingback: My first year in Shangers | That Look Crayzy!

  11. bitbot says:

    llolz from me
    [literal lolz]

    But what’s a compressed towel?

    • It’s just a towel that comes compressed in a very small package. When you wet it, it expands to full towel size. In Australia, they come with a warning not to put it in your mouth before decompressing it.

  12. Danielle says:

    ooooh so funny, just did a lot of crayzy sounding laughing out loud from my desk at work – not the most appropriate behaviour for a mental health nurse!!

  13. Pingback: Huh Wot! May Update | That Look Crayzy!

  14. ninja says:

    A spicy grandma? Et tu tute? I thought one raunchy and old fashioned brother-out-law was quite enough. Dear oh dear…

  15. Justin says:

    This latest update had me literally LOL. I’m envious, really. The Engrish in Japan is rather bland by comparison.

  16. Pingback: July Update / Huh Wot! | That Look Crayzy!

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  18. Pingback: October update / Huh Wot! « That Look Crayzy!

  19. Jason says:

    I had to stop scrolling because I was laughing at work too much and people started to look at me funny.

    • Super! The Doctor loves to bring the laugh.
      I was going to suggest that you share, but I imagine some of the content may contravene your HR policies …

  20. Pingback: January Update / Huh Wot! « That Look Crayzy!

  21. Pingback: May Update / Huh Wot! « That Look Crayzy!

  22. v says:

    #63..classic!

  23. Cloud Server says:

    Too funny, engrish always cracks me up.

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