10 Things I Not-so-love About Shanghai

Following up my very positive (and positively received) run-down of things I love here in Shanghai, I best give an insight into the other side of the equation.  Call it a balanced commentary.

Now, I don’t want to come across too whiny.  And I don’t want to delve into some of the very serious and troubling social and economic issues that are occurring here currently.  So, this post is more about the simple, yet annoying, everyday things that make life that little bit less enjoyable.

My inability to speak the language

Firstly, I have to admit that one of the most annoying things is entirely my fault.  I cannot speak Chinese.  One of the first phrases I learnt was “wo ting bu dong” (I don’t understand), and unfortunately, it is still my most commonly used.  We have a great teacher, but we are terrible students.

I imagine my experience of living here would be measurably better if I could read newspapers and billboards, understand clients and order more complicated meals.

The agressive-passive escalator technique

Every morning, as I alight from the Metro, I get to experience this one.  I would guess that up to 100 people leave the train at my station, and each and every of them is always in a huge rush to get to the escalator.  This results in much pushing and shoving, elbow-jabbing and toe-stomping.  Similarly on planes, within seconds of landing (and sometimes seconds before landing), people are unbuckling their seats and trying to get to the exit.

I can understand the desire to get a head start on the crowd.  But then, as soon as people get on the actual escalator, they become incredibly polite and passive.  If someone is blocking the left side (ie the “walk” zone), people are always too polite to ask them to stand aside.  They just stand behind them. getting stressed and breathing heavily.

Seems that bad behaviour in crowds is perfectly OK – just don’t try a bit of one-on-one spatial negotiation.

Di gou you

Last year, the phenomenon of “di gou you” gobbled up countless columns of newspaper space and many hours of discussion time.  It was found that around 10% of the oil used in Shanghai’s restaurants could be classified as “gutter oil”.  This is sourced from stormwater and sewage channels, by skimming and filtering the top layer of water.  This is the kind of recycling that I don’t think is so good.

The thought of eating a food product made partially from someone else’s poo certainly removes some of the joy of eating.  Like most people, I am now highly suspicious of any restaurant or cafe that appears to be flexible with its hygiene practices.  This has curbed my enthusiasm for trying new (and possibly risky) things, and driven me into the arms of international food chains (Starbucks! KFC!).  It feels wrong.

Sneaky meat

For vegetarians anywhere, this can be an issue.  But, it seems that the concept of “no meat” is quite relaxed here.  Typical exchange follows.  (I must admit: Item One, my lack of language skills, can complicate things…)

“Can I please have the vegetarian noodles?” (me)
“OK” (waiter)
“I am vegetarian.  So, I want no meat”
“OK”
“So, that dish has no meat, is that right?”
“Yes, no meat”

(later, after delivery of food)

“This dish has meat in it”
“Yes, but only a little”
“But, I asked for no meat”
(silence)
“Please bring me another with  no meat”
“It’s OK, I will pick it out for you” (picks up chopsticks)
“No, please make me a new one, with no meat”
“OK”

(later, after re-delivery of food)

“Hmmmm… this is just the same dish, isn’t it?”
“No”
“But, it is.  When you picked out the meat, you missed some”
(silence)

Doggy do-do

Living the French Concession, I get to enjoy good coffee, cute furniture shops and bakeries.  But, I also get to enjoy seeing small dogs crapping all over the footpaths.  This is one part of French culture that didn’t need to be imported.

The terrible driving

It’s the lack of seatbelts and the stop-start accelerating and the nodding-off-behind-the-wheel and the not-gonna-let-you-in-attitude and hectic overtaking and the frequent unmarked roadworks and random scooters and unenforced speed limits and constant horn-blasting and the non-existence of baby capsules and the substandard roads and that’s all enough to make any road trip totally terrifying.  If you think about it, that is.  The best defence is to sit back and remember that when your time is up, it’s up.

The long winter, the long summer

Yeah, I know the picture above looks romantic.  But after 3-4 months of around-zero temperatures, it’s a bit wearing.  Same said for 3-4 months of unbearably humid summertime.  It doesn’t leave much space for autumn or spring.

The People Upstairs

Today’s Schedule
5:00am:   wake up
5:05am:   push heavy furniture around on timber floor
5:10am:   commence daily exercise routine (clomping on floor)
6:00am:   turn up radio and television, both at full volume
7:00am:   start piano practice (play same song over and over and over)
8:00am:   fry something stinky with front door open
2:00pm:  afternoon nap
2:10pm:  wake from afternoon nap to complain to downstairs neighbours about their incredibly loud ceiling fan
8:00pm:  play loud music and shout at each other
11:00pm:   become disturbed by noise of an air-conditioner somewhere
11:05pm:  use shoe to bang on floor
11:10pm:  storm downstairs, accuse neighbours on making noise (ignore their explanation that it is coming from the shop downstairs, not their apartment)
11:15pm:   argue with neighbours until they force you out of their apartment

Pollution

One time, I went jogging and it was very polluted.  I spent the whole of the next day with a splitting headache.  Supposedly, on that day, Shanghai had the highest pollution level of any city in China.

Lost Heaven

I didn’t really want to highlight individual bad experiences, but the timing of this one was just right.  Last week, Mr IE and I were on our way to dinner, discussing potential material for this post.  We were planning to try the local branch of Lost Heaven, a good Yunnan food place, having visited its city location lots of times with visitors and locals.  Our booked table wasn’t ready, so after politely waiting for 30 minutes, I asked what was happening.  The front desk girls (who I guess may be a little too proud of their incredibly prestigious jobs) then treated me, through fake smiles, to a barrage of condescending and pointless comments, telling me that I was “too impatient”, didn’t trust them and that I was being “unprofessional”.  For the first time ever in this situation, I totally lost my temper, told them we would never eat there again and I’d be sure to tell everyone I knew about how bad their restaurant is (OK, I may have been over-reacting, but I was quite hungry by this point!)

Anyway, my word is good.  I won’t ever go back.  And this is my best way to spread the word.

Totes randomz in the streets

I’ll tell you one thing I really love about Shanghai, and China in general … it’s the ability to just stumble upon totally weird stuff.  But I can’t tell you what makes it seem so weird … perhaps it’s just the cultural divide.  Or, maybe as the country has opened to the world so quickly, there is no sense of judgement or control over strange things.  Or perhaps within a nation of 1.4 billion, you just have to be extra weird to be noticed.  Too often, I find myself in a situation where I want to grab the person beside me and ask “Is it just me, or are you finding this totally-get-out outrageous?!”

Recently, I happened upon this sport car which had been driven onto the footpath, its doors then flung open to disgorge hundreds of pairs of sports shoes onto the pavement (not to mention ear-splitting techno beats into the air).

      

The people were loving it, stopping their usual Friday night routine (dinner then karaoke, I bet) to fumble through the stacks of fluorescent trainers.  The stench of cheap plastic and sweatshop labour was overpowering.  The lady trying to offload a huge bag of steamed corn cobs was totally neglected by her normally loyal fanbase, and probably left wondering why she had limited herself to what was obviously last year’s best-selling street product.  God damn!  Corn is soooo 2011.

    

The sports shoe sports car reminded somewhat of the big wicker chair trolleys that frequent my neighbourhood.  This is a relatively small version … these things can grow to monumental proportions.  The guys that pull them around must get really tired, because every time I see one, they are slumped in one of the chairs (liberated from the huge tangle), fast asleep.

I saw a few of these in Beijing.  Which is weirder: the missing wheel or the obvious attempt to turn the front into a face?

    

This is a small shop in Xintiandi, in the centre of the city, where instead of hocking cheap souvenirs to tourists, someone decided to fill the space with a bunch of plastic leaves.  There no explanation and no-one around to ask what it all meant.

     

Around the same time, an art show was being held in Times Square, one of Shanghai’s more exclusive shopping centres.  Alongside Louis Vuitton and Cartier, this “digital painting art” show did seem odd.  Not to mention that it was full of all sorts of confusing and confronting, if not contradictory, symbolism.  I am surprised that some government official didn’t personally dismantle the whole thing.

    

These paintings seem to show (horror!) two women and two men in a state of kissingness.  Supposedly the catchcry of officialdom in these matters is the “three nos” – no approval, no disapproval, no promotion.  But despite contravening at least one of these restrictions, I’m sure these painting would have ruffled very few feathers.

This on the other hand, maybe not.  I have tried to feed the Chinese characters into my smartphone (via a handy character-writing app) for translation, and I THINK this artwork suggests a new product for the hard-working man – a pad that you can apply to your backside so that you need not leave your desk when you require Number Twos (although, the man in the diagram has already Number Twoed before application , suggesting that the pad is actually a response to, rather than a pre-emptive strike against, pants-based toileting).  And, while the whole is terrible, I do want to take issue with one detail – the choice of red, rather than brown, as one half of the duotone.  No approval, definite disapproval, and hopefully no promotion.

This dog spent a long time standing on a bench outside our neighbourhood pet store, for no apparent reason.  It didn’t move an inch as I stopped, took out camera, framed shot and clicked away.

I don’t know whether it’s being weird.  Maybe its just cute or scared or something.  After enduring so many months of abuse, my weirdness filter tends to play up a bit.

 

A tale of two karaoke halls

This last week, I was fortunate enough to have two karaoke experiences.  Karaoke, or KTV as it is often called, is pretty popular here, a regular social activity to do with colleagues (which I did last Friday) and friends (yesterday).  It is also something you might do with a client or business contact … but this type of karaoke may involve very private rooms, low lighting and “hostesses” who will cater to your every whim.  Fortunately, I’ve never found myself in this kind of karaoke situation.

People tell me that “karaoke” and “KTV” are used to distinguish the two types, but as yet, I have not been able to determine which is which.  I actually think it’s more about whether you attend a “bar” as opposed to a “hall” or “rooms”, that latter being of the more savoury variety.

    

My two visits were to distinctly different parts of the city and to distinctly different karaoke venues.  Friday night, we were in Hongkou, north of the city, a place mostly frequented by locals.  We went to karaoke following a farewell dinner and beer in a Japanese BBQ restaurant.  And yesterday, we met some local friends at Nanjing Road, arguably the most tourist-infested part of the city.  We met at 1pm (yes, not 1am, as I needed to clarify when making the plan).  There were no beers involved.

    

Both times, we went to well known karaoke chain … in Hongkou, it was Partyworld (a more fancy outfit) and in the city, the more down-to-earth Haoledi (which may or may not be a literal translation of “holiday”).  Both extended over two levels of large buildings, with dozens of rooms, ranging in size from intimate couples-only rooms to larger group rooms.  Just a reminder at this point: these venues cater to the “friends having good clean fun” market, not the grubby stuff.

    

Partyworld comes across as a stylish hotel, with a generous lobby and soaring ceilings and soothing lighting.  Haoledi is a bit more blingy.  The rooms at Partyworld have vases of flowers.  The rooms at Haoledi have crayzy disco lights.

I think we were the only group at Partyworld.  At least, the only group making any noise, as I discovered on my walk through its silent halls.

On the other hand, Haoledi – despite the apparently odd timing – was pumping.  There was wailing and harmonising emanating from nearly every room and dozens of people lining up by the time we left.

    

At Partyworld, we were given free beer, jugs of tea and snacks, delivered to our room.  At Haoledi, they have a small supermarket where you can buy soft drink and Johnny Walker and chips and chicken’s feet.

Mini-kegs of Budweiser come standard at Partyworld if you book for 3 hours or more.

So, things can get a little raucous.  For me, beer and karaoke is a brilliant pairing.  At the end of a typically exhausting week, and with the trauma of having to farewell a well-liked colleague, drinking and yelling into a microphone is a great way to unwind.  And it’s how I’ve always conceptualised the role of karaoke.

    

So, the Haoledi experience was a little odd.  Sober in the mid-afternoon, I became painfully aware of how terrible my singing voice is.  And how quiet the room is when everybody is not jumping up and down and yelling out the words while you are singing.  And how slowly awkward moments can pass when you haven’t been drinking.  And this is how most people do it here.  Funnily enough, our friend who organised the afternoon said that she also likes karaoke as a way to “unwind” …

    

Both places had a huge selection of English songs, from ABBA to Robbie Williams to the Beatles.  Supposedly, the Carpenters song “Goodbye to Love” is taught in primary schools across the country, so it often features in karaoke nights.  In possibly ironic fashion, we sang the more melodic Hey Jude at Partyworld (although things amped up at the “na na na na” bits) and Revolution at  Haoledi (we kinda skimmed over the lyrics about Chairman Mao).

By the end of the night, Partyworld looked like partyworld …

… while the afternoon session ended on a more serene note.

Last year CNN published an article about life expectancy in Shanghai, linking the recent sharp increase in longevity to two things more regularly consumed by the Shanghainese: karaoke and cocaine (I think you can get both at those “karaoke bars” I referred to earlier).  I suppose the suggestion is that life is better when we interact with other people and have a little down-time every now and then … when the high wears off, obviously.

Karaoke as the gateway to a longer and happier life …?  I can get into that.

A big bunch of posers …

The Chinese love their cameras.  In a country where conspicuous consumption is catching on like nobody’s business, yet houses and cars are still out of reach of most people, smaller consumer objects are the best means to display your personal wealth.  So, it’s down to clothing and fashion accessories, electronic gadgets and the not-so-humble camera … a constant sight is the latest Canon or Nikon (the only brands worth buying, it seems), with hugely-oversized lens attached, slung casually around neck or from shoulder.  I’m sure there are loads of great photographers here, but given the overt posturing that occurs during the actual act of photography, I reckon it is the object, rather than the outcome, that people are focused on.

People also love to be in front of the camera, and there is always an event or building or object to act as a backdrop.  This year is the 90th anniversary of the forming of the Communist Party of China, and the location of the original meeting (a small complex of buildings in the middle of city) is usually ringed by groups of proud nationalists, assembling in small groups for their portrait.

   

It was also Expo year in Shanghai, and the event’s blue mascot (click here for more Haibao love) was a constant presence in the city, drawing in children and adults alike. 

Shanghai’s ever-evolving skyline is also a favourite place to converge for some camera display.

As are the city’s historic sites, where there is much less of the interpretative analysis going on, and much more of the positioning, grinning and victory-signing.

    

I think a lot of the public art around (in addition to celebrating the achievements of the noble, yet unrewarded, worker) is designed for the photo opportunity.

Whether through their own choice, or by coercion, or perhaps it gets hard to tell the distinction between the two … kids are usually front-and-centre of the photographic experience.  These girls seemed to be willing to stand in a somewhat odd position for an extended time while Dad reeled off a dozen shots.

As did this poor little one.  I was relieved when she eventually moved, demonstrating that she did not have some terrible leg deformity, just a quirky sense of what constitutes the correct way to pose for a photo.  Maybe from the camera’s perspective, it looked normal.  Or maybe, when she saw the photo, she too wondered what the heck she was doing.  An important moment in self-reflection, no doubt.

    

And perhaps, good training for that special day (or week), where she would undertake the greatest camera test of all (and I must admit, one of my favourite things to see), the wedding photos.  Everyone here does it.  After weeks of preparation (selecting the photographer and shooting locations, crash dieting and surgical removal of facial moles), the lucky couple spend hours moving between locations (with photographer and two assistants in tow), posing in a variety of costumes (traditional, sassy, serious, bordello-chic), and with a variety of expressions (happy, fun, sexy, relieved), then spend thousands more on post-production (photoshopping out any blemishes that the surgery couldn’t deal with, brightening skin tone and eye colour, slimming down thighs and jawlines) and packaging the while lot into a professional photo album.  The photos are always amazing, but its often hard to recognise the actual couple in the photos. 

It all happens days, if not weeks, before the wedding.  So, it’s probably the safest guarantee for the couple … with that kind of financial and emotional investment, you’re unlikely to do a runner on the big day.  And, through the intense concentration and likely boredom, you might that together, you can get through any challenge that lies ahead.

 

Beijing / Closed for business

This week is National Week in China, which means that everybody gets a whole week of public holidays … well, not a whole week really, as we have to work both days this weekend to allow for the rest of the week off.  That makes sense, right?

So, we took a trip to Beijing on the new super-express train … well, not a super-express train really, as it takes 5.5 hours to get between Shanghai and Beijing, not the four hours promised prior to the opening of the service.

Anyways, Beijing is a very popular October holiday destination, as the weather is great and lots of locals feel compelled (nay, obliged) to visit the capital during the national holiday period.  And like the locals, we were keen to see some of the city’s iconic sites, both historic and contemporary, while we were there.

Nice idea, shame about the reality.

First stop was the Forbidden City, where we discovered the entry plaza absolutely teeming with people.  They have a saying here to describe huge crowds – “people mountain, people sea” – and it was an apt way to describe the scene.  The line-up for entry tickets was incredibly long and slow moving and everyone in it looked pretty grumpy, so we cut our losses and headed to the next stop …

     

Tian’anmen Square.  We are fast learners, so were not at all surprised to encounter another mass of humanity that I would describe more like a “people glacier”.  The square itself was ringed with layers of fences, manned by thousands of police officers directing and halting the enormous crowds.  We even needed to join the end of a 10 minute queue to cross the street.

While we did get into the square itself, it was hardly a relaxing experience, navigating the crowds under the watchful eye of Chairman Mao, countless security personnel and cameras, not to mention our fellow tourists (the constant staring and pointing, badly-concealed photographing and requests for photos do wear thin pretty quickly…)

And forget about actually visiting any of the museums and memorials … bummer.  I was kinda keen on catching a glimpse of the Mao’s mummy, which is on display in a special Memorial Hall.

    

At this point, it was clear that we might need to focus on some more specialised tourist activities.  So, we hopped in a cab to the CCTV building, the headquarters of China’s state television network, designed by the master-of-archi-wackiness Rem Koolhaas.  It’s a great building, with forms that twist and cantilever in a thoroughly delightful way, but as an urban designer, I was mostly keen to see how it integrated with, and enhanced, its surrounding context.

Not long after the CCTV building was completed, a second Koolhaas building (a 30 storey hotel) was constructed next door.  During pre-opening celebrations, some wayward fireworks ignited the building, totally destroying it, killing a firefighter and injuring many others.  In a show of … lets say, resilience … the hotel is being rebuilt in identical form.  Which means that when we visited, the entire site (CCTV building included) was wrapped in hoarding and not accessible, least of all to a couple of frustrated tourists.

      

Nonetheless, we got to walk around the block (and what a huge block it was), checking out the building from all angles.  You can see why it has been given the nickname “the pants”.

And then there is the other modern architectural wonder of Beijing … the National Stadium.  And, if you have been paying attention, you would know how this chapter of the story ends. The whole Olympic site appeared to be closed, to the confusion and dismay of the crowds of people who had trekked to the northern edge of the city for a visit.

    

So, we took a two-hour walk around the site, searching for bridges across massive motorways and sneaky ways into the stadium.  Alas, we were only left with distant views across lanes of traffic and the heads of thousands of people.

People sea, car river, frustration tsunami.

10 Things I Love About Shanghai

Just yesterday, as I was riding the very long up escalator at my local Metro station, I spotted one of my favourite Shanghai things – something from which my feeling of happiness is not derived from a sense of irony, bemusement or desperation.  So, it got me to thinking about things I like here.  Things that are 100% good.

The Baby Split-pant
Babies anywhere are cute.  Babies in China are super-cute.  Babies in China in split-pants might be the cutest thing ever.  The split-pant combines practicality (the ability to toilet in any gutter or planter-box you wish) with comic potential (accidentally exposing your bot-bot to the world).  This baby is wearing a double split-pant.

    

The Food of the Minorities
Some of the outer edges of China have amazing foods.  I particularly love the cuisine of Yunnan (in the same family as Vietnamese and Thai) and Xinjiang (the western, almost Middle-Eastern, autonomous region).  Both have amazing breads, fresh salads and great noodles … which means that they have now become a popular choice for the urbanites of Shanghai.

   

The Bottle Opener
As yet, I haven’t tired of Shanghai’s tallest tower, even though it continually pops in view all over the city.  Especially compared to some other buildings, it is a very elegant structure.  It has an observation deck at its highest level and a crayzy light display each evening.

The Time It Takes to End a Phonecall
There is a strange habit here of extending the process of saying goodbye on the telephone.  I take it as a sign of respect, that the other person doesn’t want to end things quickly.  A typical conversation may go something like this …

A: We’ll get the contract signed and sent to you right away.  [it’s a business call]
B: OK.  Thanks.
A: Great, talk to you later.
B: OK. Bye.
A: Bye.
B: Hm, thanks, bye.
A: Byebye, ah, bye.
B: Ok, bye.  Bye.
A: Bye.  Ah.  Bye.

Using the Footpath to Full Potential
Most cultures could learn a things or two about using, and sharing, the footpath as they do in Shanghai.  It’s business meets family meets pleasure meets cooking meets meets walking meets meeting meets washing up meets eating meets everything else.

    

Shanghai’s Amazing Art Deco Architecture
Shanghai reputedly has one of the world’s best collections of Art Deco architecture, due to the economic boom of the early 20th century and the influence of foreign designers.  It’s something I didn’t know about before I arrived, and continues to delight and surprise me.  That’s the front door to our apartment building on the bottom right.

The Long Sound of Intrigue and Confusion
Imagine, if you will, that you are in a taxi and you encounter a street that is blocked for no apparent reason, or another driver that is attempting something strange or dangerous (u-turn across a median strip, for example).  Without doubt, the driver will respond with a unique exclamation – a drawn-out “hmmmmmm” noise that starts low and rises, suggesting a question but also sounding like an observation; a cross between intrigue and confusion; with a tonal style inspired by Scooby Do.  If you’ve heard it, you’ll know exactly what I mean.  It never fails to make me smile when I hear it.

Cats that Own the Street
The cats of Shanghai would have to be the most confident felines in the world.  They just sit (or lie)on the street or footpath, they draw attention to themselves by miaowing loudly, they approach any person they wish.  Scaredy-cats they are not.

The Shanghai Pyjama
People are most happy to wear their pyjamas in public.  Lots of people … and not just when they are caught short of a dunny roll.  People will walk far from home and undertake a series of errands still wearing last night’s PJs.  There are abundant theories about why this is so prevalent and so specific to Shanghai.  Some say it is like the older Chinese habit of wearing silk clothing as a means of displaying your status as a person of leisure (not some dirty worker).  Or, that it is a washday thing – given most Chinese don’t have loads of clothes, there aren’t many wardrobe options while you are waiting for your clothes to dry.  Or that it is a way of expressing that you are a real local, not some visitor from a less desirable suburb.  Whatever it is, it’s one of my favourite Shanghai sights.

     

Annamaya
Of Shanghai’s many good vegetarian eateries, Annamaya is king.  Housed in a little yellow building quite close to our place, Annamaya serves up a range of healthy and yummy foods, including delicious vegan deserts.  Every time we go, we wonder why we don’t eat there more often.

Wuzhen / putting on a show for the tourists

Wuzhen is a little town with quite a long history.  Settled about 1500 years ago, it’s location (within the ‘golden triangle’ formed by Shanghai, Hangzhou and Suzhou) pretty much guaranteed its success as a place of trade.  And now, its proximity to Shanghai guarantees that every weekend, it will play host to thousands of weekend tourists from the big smoke.

     

It is the quintessential water town, with a network of natural rivers and artificial canals, criss-crossed by a multitude of bridges and laneways.   It’s sometimes called “the Venice of the East”, but it seems that this moniker is attached to pretty much any water town in China.

Small in scale and free of cars, it makes a very pleasant change from Shanghai.  The central part of the town is its main attraction, and thus you need to pay an entry fee to get in.  As long as the main share of the money goes to retaining and upgrading the old building stock, rather than the overzealous gate guards, I don’t paying for the privilege.

It’s easy spend a few hours there, just wandering around the water edge and snacking and looking at stuff.

    

Amongst all the visitors, a whole bunch of people actually live here too.

The traditional houses open straight to the waterfront, which is also the focus of the public domain of the town.  The scattering of artefacts of everyday life – washbasins, pot plants, clothes drying in the sun – contribute to the character of the place.

 

And the architecture is defined (as it should be) by climate, local materials and function.  I am very fond of these operable timber awnings.

     

As we were gawking at people, people were gawking right back at us.  Wuzhen is definitely a destination for local tourists, so we were met with much interest.  All day, whispers of “waiguoren!” (foreigner) and pointed fingers were directed towards us.  Huge tour groups would stop in their tracks just to stare and take photos of us, usually not bothering to conceal their purpose.  Things would often descend into a mutual paparazzi situation, which seemed to make everyone amused.

Perhaps to distract the tourists from each other, there were lots of traditional performers throughout the town.  Wuzhen is most famous for shadow puppetry (the theatre was outside the gated area, so we couldn’t go there without surrendering all rights to re-entry) and a local version of opera (even less melodic than the Western version).  But there were also these guys doing some martial arts with swords and sticks, on a boat of course.

    

And this guy, who climbed out onto a long stick of bamboo to do some acrobatics.  It was most skilful and quite scary to watch, but he didn’t really draw a crowd.  Perhaps he was the one doing all the watching … spotting waiguoren from on high.

 

Let’s (sort of) talk about sex

It appears that China is undergoing a kind of sexual evolution.  I would have popped an R on the front of the last word in that sentence, but feared that it could be an overstatement, not to mention the best way to draw the attention of people who like to scan the internet for words like that.  Hmm, anyway …

I was a bit surprised to find that it wasn’t uncommon to see shops like the one above, or like the one in my neighbourhood that has a lovely big window display full of “lifestyle products”.  And these are just regular streets in regular neighbourhoods (I am yet to see what could be classed as a red light district).

In most hotel bathrooms too, you will discover a basket of cheeky personal products, some overtly sexual in usage and others I’m not sure of.  It seems that Chinese society is quite upfront about this stuff, although only in recent years.

The name of these condoms translate (I think) as “I can”, a coy but supportive message to the user, although a little diminished by the English subtitle: “like fire to one’s heart’s content”

Traditionally (under Confucian law), sexuality was strictly regulated.  Promiscuity and adultery were harshly punished, the latter resulting in jailtime for the lady and total castration for the gentleman (or should I say, soon-to-be eunech).  A good example of the punishment and the crime being a little disproportionate.  That said, eunechs could always look forward to a startling career as the emperor’s confidant – that’s what always happened, right?

This pack contains both a “vibrated” and a “condom”.  Huh wot?

For much of the 20th century, sexuality was greatly repressed … primarily because one’s personal desires were meant to be sacrificed for the dream of societal togetherness.  From the 1980s onwards though, as economic policies shifted, so too did the social stances of government.  Sex was returned to the personal sphere.

This is like Invasion of the Body Snatchers starring a giant banana.  Confusion would surely abound: “Right, so we have to stretch this thing over your upper body…”

A key change was the reworking of marriage laws in 2003, which simplified not only the process of marrying, but also unmarrying.  By necessity, this also removed the requirement that before marriage, a woman would need to prove herself (via a physcial examination) to be a virgin.  A general modernisation of a many social policies also occurred.  Interestingly, one of China’s most restrictive social policies – the one-child policy – has lead to some expansion of personal rights.  Implied in this policy is the separation of sexual behaviour and child-production … that the former can be pursued purely for reasons of pleasure. 

Some kind of washing product, a “pure Chinese medicinal” supposedly.

Of course, there would be many more factors at play here.  The internet now provides ready access to all sorts of information and entertainment.  China is more global, with people inetrested in seeing, if not adopting, Western ways of doing.  A growing middle-class, focused on personal rights and fuelled by increasingly higher disposable incomes, have both the desire and means to push some social boundaries.   And, like much of the world, sex-related disease and crime have forced a more frank discussion of some critical issues.

These panties (both for men and women) are 100% Fashion Sexy and have Good Air Permeability.  This would make them easily rippable, rather than aimed at gassy botbots (not so sexy).

It’s all very new still.  Much of the stuff I read online suggests that while people are apparently more comfortable discussing the topic, they are not necessarily becoming better informed.  There are lots of amusing stories told by counsellors and health professionals, like the college couple, prepared to take the “big step” and having bought the right precautions, having no idea about what goes on what, or in what.  But, also less amusing ones about women  use abortion as their primary means of “contraception”, unaware that there are other options available.  

“Competitive men’s socks”.  I am sure they are just socks.  For putting on you feet under shoes.  But without buying them and opening them up, I can’t rule out that ‘sock’ is just a euphemism.

Hopefully the gap between “talking about” and “being informed about” will close quickly.  Along with the sex shops and readily available contraception (on the counter of every convenience store, not just in hotels), universities and schools are introducing education programs and better social support for students.  And the internet, despite attempts at controlling it, must also be giving plenty of teenagers a pretty good education as well.  I guess evolution is never a steady process.

An amazing expanding towel, irresponsibly without a warning about placing the uncompressed towel in one’s mouth (like the ones I have seen in Australia).

My first year in Shangers

I am just about to reach the end of my first year in Shanghai.  Time has flown … thus is the curse of being too busy and being too old …

Here is a highlights package of Year One.  I have themed it around the colour red.  Red is – most of the time – a colour of good fortune in China, so its often appears around the city.

Around this time of year, people sometimes wear red to bring good luck.  But, to be humble about it, it is often red underwear.  I have red longjohns that I have been wearing all winter (for warmth, not luck of course).  I was inspired by the man downstairs from our apartment, who would hang his very fetching LJs in the stairwell.  After weeks of looking, I finally found my own pair.  I am wearing them right now!

For my blog post about our stairwell (yeah, the one with dead chicken) … click here > Our new apartment (1) and Our new apartment (2)

For many Shanghainese, the last year has been all about Expo.  I got to Expo once for a couple of hours and never made it back.  My own lack of organisation reflects the importance of planning, just like the Expo theme (Better City, Better Life).

For more, click here > My first trip to Expo  or for the one about Expo’s wacky mascot Haibao > Give Praise Unto Almighty Haibao

For me, the city was the real event.  These red things spell out the name Cool Docks, a new and kinda unsuccessful development near the old city.  Cool Docks is an exemplar of the ongoing tension between economic development and historic preservation in Shanghai.  See more here > Goodbye Docks! Hello Cool! as well as this post on Xintiandi > The Fine Art of Fakery

I am always looking for special times where elements of the city compose themselves into an interesting photo.  I call them Jeffrey Smart moments and I have been compiling a gallery here > Now, that IS crayzy!

I also made other galleries devoted to funny buildings > Small Man, Big Hair and food > Fun with Food … as well, the most popular of all, Chinglish > Huh Wot?

While we haven’t done as much travelling as I would have liked, we did get to visit a few places closer to Shanghai.  We did a weekend trip to Nanjing and saw lots of amazing old buildings, including this Hall of Scarifice.  The Nanjing posts > The other great wall and > A nice place to spend eternity and > Avoiding the Tiger Summer

    

Suzhou is another nearby city, full of canals and old buildings.  The candles are from the main temple in the city centre.  Suzhou stuff > Canals, gardens and silkworms > It could hardly be called humble… > Suzhou Museum: it’s all-white

These hire bikes are found all over Hangzhou, which we just visited last week.  Stay tuned for future posts on this city, often referred to as “Heaven on Earth”.

    

And a few trips to Hong Kong … catching up with friends and family and renewing visas.  This is the pulling mechanism of the Peak Tram which gave us the amazing view included in this post > City, nature and nothing in between

And not to forget the ever-fascinating Macau which I had a bit of trouble working out … It’s like the Portugal of China! > No, no, the Disneyland of China! > No, actually, the fake Venice of Asia!

And speaking of trams and stuff, here is a shot from Line 10 of the Shanghai Metro.  The red seat is for the mobility-impaired.  I cannot talk enough about how amazing the rail system (Metro, heavy rail, fast rail) is here.  I did a few posts about transport > High Speed Rail? China Has It. > My Walk to Work (2) > Another Crayzy Motorway > The Rules of the Road > but must do more.

And to finish off, here is what some workfriends and I wore to our company’s annual (Chinese New Year) dinner.  I was concerned that our interpretation of the theme “Your Chinese Best” as the uniform of the Red Army may have been risky, but everyone loved it and there was much clapping and laughing when we arrived.  Here are some of the ways I celebrated the various festive seasons > Festive celebrations / let me count the ways and > Carpet-bombing in the new year

It’s been a great year and I have enjoyed remembering all the crayzy things I have seen since I arrived.  Hope you have enjoyed hearing about it all too …

Onto Year of the Rabbit.

Thanks to everyone for your readership and for your comments over the last year.

x The Doctor.

Animal, vegetable, unidentifiable…?

Qibao (literally translating as “Seven Treasures”) is an ancient canal-side town, once lying to the west of Shanghai city, but now absorbed into this ever-expanding megalopolis.  It is at least 1000 years old, dating back to the Northern Song Dynasty and becoming a bustling centre of activity during the Ming and Qing periods (several centuries mid-millennium).

It is packed full of traditional Chinese buildings, clustered around canals and tiny laneways, and connected by old arched bridges.

Surprisingly, Qibao doesn’t feature too heavily in tourist publications, but it does attract many local visitors.  And, I mean many … the little lanes and spaces take forever to navigate.

There is a newer commercial area, no less hectic than the older parts, but at least with a bit more room.  The whole area is closed to cars, which is somewhat unusual and a tiny bit pointless, given the large number of speeding delivery vans, scooters and bicycles.

I am loving this mural … for a minute there I thought I had been transported to a mountainside in the country (with air-conditioners and windows…)

Qibao is renowned for its old-style handicrafts and food, which make it a favourite for the locals and a surprising place for the internationals.   Besides the traditional brewery and carving museum, you can come to Qibao to pick up some amazing hand-crafted goods.  Wooden buckets – sized for a bath or just a foot-spa- seem to be popular.

    

But, the food is the really amazing stuff.  Huge stacks of freshly-steamed corn…

and these delicious-looking fruit skewers.  The kiwi fruit were massive, about 10 centimetres in diameter.

People were also strolling about munching chunks of meat off timber skewers about a metre long.  (Given the confined spaces, I imagine that skewer injuries are not uncommon here.)  Similarly, bamboo sticks were a popular snack-and-stroll item.  Although the hard outside layer was peeled off, I am surprised that bamboo could be soft enough for this kind of consumption.  But as Mr I.E. tells me, there are 800 types of bamboo, so I guess one has to be chew-friendly.

These appeared to be some kind of sesame desert.  At least, I think it was desert.

And these …?  I am putting my bet on lotus root, cooked and stuffed with some kind of gluggy white thing.  They do kinda look like some body part though.

Not so much as these though.  I think they were knuckles, delicately tied together with string and placed under a red light to give them a real glow.

Or these. These are just gross.  A whole small bird (perhaps a pigeon or half-grown chicken), cooked and skewered via the head, ready for instant consumption.  And, popular they were … with many people grabbing one to sustain them on their shopping journey.

I am told that in Qingdao (a city north of Shanghai), the local version consists of a whole rabbit head, ears included, deep-fried and mounted on a stick.   I’ll just stick to the bamboo, thanks.

Seoul / Takin’ it to the streets

In Seoul, they sure know how to use streets and spaces to their fullest potential.  I guess that’s what makes it an amazing city – there is always so much going on and so much to engage you in the everyday machinations of the city.

Last year in Gangnam (a busy centre in the southern half of the city), the local council installed a number of interactive media poles along the main street.  To the street is a flashing advertising sign, but to the footpath is a screen for pedestrians to play with.  You can look up maps of the city and the subway system, take photos, send emails, all sorts of stuff …

It’s a trend that’s quickly catching on all over the city.  All subway stations are getting them, as are most new plazas and shopping centres.  And the screens are getting bigger … these ones in the downtown area allow you to write huge messages (selected from a list of course, including “happy birthday!” and “be strong!”) or to change the colour of the street lighting to your own preference.  Or to video the total strangers behind you…

Outdoor performances seem to be pretty popular too.  One night, on the corner just near our hotel, we were fortunate enough to see an impromptu performance by South Korea’s number one girl band, Girls’ Generation.

They must have been drawing attention to some kind of “issue” as the big screen behind them was showing footage of malnourished African kids.  To understand the absurdity of all this, check out the song they were performing (including perfectly synchronised dancing and lip movement) by following this link:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGbwL8kSpEk

I don’t know how they manage all that winking and wiggling!

Streets are also places of commerce (not just higher forms of artistic expression like Girls’ Generation).  In this neighbourhood of hardware stores, the footpaths have become the main space for retailing, with the tiny shops merely serving as overnight storage.

The streets were also full of coloured lanterns, a celebration of Buddha’s upcoming birthday.  Based on his cheery disposition and generous waistline, I think Buddha has started on the cakes a bit too early.

Seoul / Hoodie, 2 Shoes

From the very start of our trip to Seoul, it was clear that there were a few fashion laws in place:
a) everybody must wear a hoodie
b) when it comes to footwear, the crayzyer the better
c) old ladies must wear ridiculously oversized plastic visors

Delighted by what we saw, we attempted to document as much as possible, but generally, people feel uncomfortable with a stranger pointing a camera at their head and/or feet.  The following do some small justice to the fashion on parade.

These guys were preparing to perform a martial arts demonstration (thus were OK with cameras) but were fully committed to the hood.

I took this shot through a cafe window.  The heels are a pretty typical set, but certainly not as high or wacky as many we saw.  And here is a collection of Dragonboy’s best shoe shots (mostly from the Metro):

He calls the last one “Sneaker Love”.

That’s his shoulder at the front of the shot.  I was pretending to take his photo after we had scaled a hill for a view over the city.

*Thanks also to Dragonboy also for providing the inspired title of this post.

Turtle-necking in Wuxi

Monday was a public holiday – Tomb Sweeping Day, where Chinese visit, clean and worship the graves of departed ancestors.  So, DragonBoy and I visited Wuxi, a city of over 5 million located a 1 hour train ride west of Shanghai.

We spent most of the day at the Turtle Neck Peninsular, a huge natural reserve to the south of the city and on the shores of Tai Hu, the third largest lake in China.  The reserve is well known for its cherry blossoms, which are flowering at the moment and were the main reason for our trip.

It seems we weren’t the only ones with the same idea …. (I guess people needed to do something distracting after all that tomb-sweeping)

The reserve is heavily forested, but contains a multitude of pavilions, pagodas, temples and statues of religious figures – none of them are authentic but its cute nonetheless.

My favourite was the Matchmaking Temple (I’m pretty confident that this is not a traditional role for a temple).  Youngsters were flooding to the place to tie a love-wish-in-a bottle to the temple wall.

The blessed ones (ie loved-up couples) also return to the temple to add a padlock engraved with their names (available from the temple gift shop) to a large sculpture that presumedly symbolises eternal love.

All this is a bit cheesy perhaps.  But there is no doubt that parks and reserves here are used by thousands of people who all look pretty happy, so that can’t be a bad thing…

The funny things that happen in parks

People’s Park is the largest green space in central Shanghai (it previously was a racecourse for the non-Chinese of the city) and is mostly quite lovely, with grass and trees and lakes and people.

As if that isn’t enough, it’s also common here for parks to contain a number of buildings too.  People’s Park has a large government building, a few museums – including the Urban Planning Exhibition Hall – and the unfortunately ubiquitous Starbucks.  Oh, and an amusement park.

While the kids are having good clean fun, their parents are engaged in a more sinister activity just a few metres away.  Every weekend, there is an unofficial  match-making market held in specially constructed marquees (suggesting that it is, in fact, somewhat official).  Parents hang one-page profiles of any of their unmarried children, including their height, exam results and occasionally a photo.  There is a real buzz of excitement … or perhaps desperation …

In one section, they also offer a shopping bag, containing I assume an additional inducement to would-be suitors.